Our Adoption Journey

Long Time No Blog!

We have so much to catch up on. I enjoyed looking back on our blog at those months we were in Kazakhstan. It seems like it was yesterday and not seven months ago! The kids have made so many strides in these seven months since coming home.

Their english is coming along quite well. I would say at this point that Zhenya speaks more clearly and correctly, but Alyosha understands more. He talks a lot and desires to share everything that's going on in his mind and sometimes things get pretty jumbled! They are both big talkers. They both have very outgoing personalities, something we would never have guessed from Alyosha those first few days with him at the orphanage. Zhenya has never met a stranger. She continues to talk to everyone she sees. She is a little charmer and usually has all adults giggling at her abrupt and loud greetings and questions.

Their behavior in the beginning was a little surprising to us. When we first brought them back to the apartment in Pavlodar they were pretty crazy acting. It was very hard to keep their excitement at bay. We were basically surviving there for those last couple weeks. We didn't know how firm to be with them and it was quite frustrating trying to find the balance of what to correct and when to show mercy. Everything was so new and exciting and we understood they had never really had to practice self control with things they'd never been around. By the end of our time there we were at our wits end for sure. I mean they must have turned the lights on and off hundreds of times which we can laugh at now, but at a time when we were dealing with paperwork and trying to get home it wasn't very funny dealing with the lack of obedience they were showing and hyperness in our tiny living space. The lights were just one example of their curiosity. It's pretty amazing what kids can find to get into in even the smallest of living spaces! Words cannot describe the relief we felt once we were home and could really begin cracking down on the toddler like behaviors from them both. It was and has been hard at times, but they have come so far. Only occasionally do they play with the lights now! Self control has been a huge issue with them both. The first few months home when we corrected Alyosha he would have meltdowns just like you would see from a two or three year old. He would get very angry and unreasonable. He was not used to adults seeing his every move and expecting things from him. He has a very easy going temperament and is a super happy kid, so it was again very surprising to us when he'd do this. Those outbursts are few and far between now. We are still working with both of them on their wills and breaking them because they were never broken. They were their only allies in life and they only knew how to look out for themselves. They have never learned the concept of thinking about anyone other than themselves. It so makes sense being raised in an orphanage that you would naturally be this way since we are sinful and self-centered beings. It is only God who can show us and make us into anything else by His grace!
Praise the Lord they have such sweet personalities and have very pliable temperaments. I really don't know what we'd do if we had kids with major emotional issues or kids that were having a hard time bonding.

We are bonding great with them. They are very loving and giving of themselves and have not seemed to resent anything. They have never seemed homesick or miss their homeland. At least not yet. We talk to them about the orphanage and ask questions. The first three or four months Alyosha didn't really want to talk about it. In recent months though he has talked a little about things there. He'll tell us about a child he remembers that did something or how someone got in trouble. He told us recently that for punishment the caregivers had the kids do squats or put their heads down between their legs while sitting on the floor. They were hit on the hands with a ruler too. Alyosha and Zhenya seemed to have both experienced some of this discipline, although neither seems to be able to recall why =) Zhenya has always wanted to talk about the orphanage. She knows we are very interested, so she is excited when she remembers something like how they drank some sort of yogurt drink before bed, or that they played with clay sometimes, or makes sure we know that at the orphanage they didn't have this or that.
Dave and I have our days when we still feel like we have a bit to go with feeling like they are totally ours. We feel close and loving toward them, but I think sometimes we feel they were someone else's and get frustrated at their lack of training and well, some days are harder than others. We know it's completely normal to feel this way some days and know with each day/week/month that passes it will all seem more and more natural. I know with each month that has already passed they feel more and more like our kids and Trumans =)

We're Home!!!

So, after a whirlwind trip we made it home on Saturday. It started with an evening flight to Almaty on Wednesday the 7th. We had our doctors appointment on Thursday. The kids' exit visas came in late that night. Our embassy appointment was scheduled for Friday at 2:30pm.

We spent a lot of time and energy Thursday night and Friday morning deciding if we should fly home as soon as possible at a higher cost and retain our sanity, or wait until Sunday at a lower cost but go completely crazy. We took the first choice and arranged a flight for Friday night at 11:05pm.

After 20 hours of flight time during a 24 hour trip we made it to Memphis on Saturday at 1:00pm. We had the best reception and a wonderful time catching up with everyone. And then we went to bed and slept.

Gotcha day and our time so far!

The day we picked them up at the orphanage was a really emotional and tiring day. Picking up Zhenya was somewhat painless as she has just been at the orphanage in Kichiry for nine months. She was ready to go and kissed each child in her group, hugged her teachers then immediately started taking her clothes off. She was ready to get the new duds on and get going!

We went over to Alyosha's building and all his class was there ready and waiting for us because they were putting on a special program in honor of his leaving. The kids were all dressed up in various costumes and excited when we arrived. We went into the music room and they immediately started the show! It was absolutely precious.

They quoted wonderful words to all of us about how happy they were for Alyosha and his new family. They said some really sweet things about Alyosha too (we only know through what Tanya our translator told us). They sang songs and danced. I was pretty teary eyed through the entire program and toward the end I could no longer hide my emotions. I believe I started a domino effect with all the kids and teachers. There was not a dry eye in the room, even Zhenya was crying. It was hard, but also a sweet time of saying goodbye crying, hugging, and kissing.

It is a day we will never forget. We will also never forget all those sweet faces of those precious precious kids and will continue to pray for them and the hope that one day they will get a family of their own. Everyone needs a mama and papa and I know if anyone met these beautiful children they would want to take them all home like we do!!!

Our last few days having the kids has been so much fun! Everything is new to them! They remind us of toddlers who start discovering the world around them for the first time, except that they're faster, stronger, and smarter! Once they looked everything over thoroughly and asked millions of questions, in Russian mind you, they have calmed down considerably.

Zhenya is just a ball of energy and has had a few strong willed moments and some mild meltdowns. I'm so thankful for Dave. He corrects her, calms her down and she has made positive strides in learning some self control. Alyosha is a quiet, sweet guy and the only thing we've had to help him with these last few days has been a little sneakiness!

We really have had a good time eating out, walking around, taking the bus, and playing here in the apartment. Zhenya is so cute when we're walking around. She is used to saying "drasty"(hello) at the orphanage whenever people walk by, so when we're out she says "drasty, drasty" to everyone and most of them don't say it back so I taught her to just shrug her shoulders and make a silly face..it's our little game :D

Okay, there is so much more I could go on about, but I'll spare you this time!!

We have been very disappointed that our lawyer and translator have not been able to apply for the kids passports yet. It's something about the bureaucrat who signs the birth certificates is on vacation so they're trying to find someone who can do it for us. This has been a typical hold up throughout our adoption process over the years. It seems there is only one important person who is able to do whatever you need done and they are either on vacation, or in another town, or are unable to be contacted for some reason or another.

So at this point we think that unless a major miracle happens, Friday the 9th is out and Sunday is looking sketchy. We will wait and see knowing that God is looking out for what is best for us and does not withhold anything good from us.

Tomorrow is "Gotcha Day"!!!

Hey Everyone,

Yes, two blogs in one day! I guess we owe you since we haven't blogged in awhile :)

(just for the record, the food has been fine here, but we would not compare it to home)

We just wanted to let everyone know that we get to pick up the kids tomorrow at the orphanage! In the adoption world lingo we call it "gotcha day"!

We have their clothes all ready to go just like newborns we're bringing home from the hospital. The only difference is that Dave had to go through as much of the labor as I did!!! Yet another reason to adopt girlfriends!!

I believe we're going to first say goodbye with Zhenya and her group and teachers and office ladies then we'll go over to Alyosha's building. His class is going to do a small program for us and then we'll say goodbye to his class and teachers and be on our way! I think it's going to be harder for Dave and I saying goodbye tomorrow than it is going to be on the kids because they're excited and maybe don't quite get how far away they are going and how different their life is going to be.

There are going to be so many new things they are going to be experiencing in the next few weeks and then at home it's going to be an interesting time for all of us!

I hope we can sleep tonight! I know we'll need it!!

Love you all and we can never thank you enough for praying and caring for us and our family.

food around town(at least as far as we can walk)

So here are some of the places where we have eaten. Sadly, we don't call some of them by the given names because we don't know them. The top two are from Krendel (how we pronounce it, probably not totally accurate but it works for us). We think this is one of the hardest places to order from but the food is pretty stinkin' good. What you see here is two eggs over medium, small steaks, potatoes, onions, tomatoes, cheese, all in a skillet = Delicious! The latte is called the "Balshoy Latte" in Russian which means the big delectable latte in English. They don't have an English menu for some reason, but once you figure out what is what, it is worth the trouble.

The next photo is from the "Russian Restaurant" which has a name but we don't know it and can't pronounce it. This is one of our favorite places, now that we know how to order. We have found that in most of the places we have been the food is extremely fresh, as in they might have just run out and picked the tomato and killed the chicken fresh. They have a menu in English which we also appreciate.

The last photo is from a place called (or should I say pronounced) Skief. We went there based on a recommendation from an American couple. He described an item with chicken and vegetables rolled up in the local version of a tortilla and deep fried (aka Chimichanga). We were drawn in by the cross cultural possibilities of finding Mexican-ish food in Pavlodar. We found they also had chips and salsa, onion rings, and shakes. Unfortunately, they were all breaded with the same batter and fried in the same oil. On this place we were split, Jeannie liked it and I didn't. However, I would go back and try something else because you just never know.

There are a couple of other places we go to probably too often. Classic Pizza has an English menu but there are some translation errors, like peppers in translated as pepperoni. So when you order the "piquante" (picante) pizza with "pepperoni" what you get is a nice ham pizza with nice spicy peppers. It was still very good and we have ordered it several times. Classic isn't Pizza Hut, but you know what they say...

The Old Englishman (one of the names we don't have any problem pronouncing) is also a favorite stop. No English menu but there are pictures. They have fajitas (pronounced phonetically fa-gee-tahs here by the way, just like it in pronounced in Tipton county, we have been corrected several times). They are very tasty. They also have a taco salad with the shell bowl, very good also. I would recommend something from the shish-ke-bob selection near the back. It comes with this wonderful salsa that is muy bueno, or karasho as they say here.

We found another pizza place this week that was also very good. It is supposedly named after a Turkish city - Ephes. It is hard to miss with the big giant retro PIZZA sing on the side of the building.

The last good place I want to mention is the one we call IHOP. It is not really an IHOP, that would be too much and probably like the Dennys in Japan. It is really called The Cherry or something like that except in Russian of course. It has a 50s diner look to it with lots of chrome and Naugahyde. We had the "Americanski" breakfasts which were pretty good. Two thumbs up.

There are other places too. One bad place to mention was BurgerMaxx - worse than McDonald's, can't say much more than that.

Eating out here is pretty much an adventure every time. We have advanced the "point and grunt" method of ordering to the "point and say 'eta' (this)" method. Early on we had some interesting meals where we weren't sure what we were going to get. And there is an occasion where we are surprised by what shows up at the table. 99% of the time, it is something good. We haven't accidentally ordered pigs snout or anything like that, yet. There was an occasion where we asked for the check and got tea (chai), which was understandable.

The prices are all very reasonable and the servings are proportionate for what you pay. There has only been one occasion where we paid $10.00 per person, and that was a lot of food. Normally we pay $7.00 each including drinks and tip. We could probably just order one thing and split it most of the time except that Jeannie likes gross things like onions and garlic.

I am working on getting these all put on Google Earth or Google maps along with walking times from the apartment and of course our expert reviews.

Sweet Moments

Jeannie, Tanya (the interpreter) and I were talking today about how much the kids have changed since we first met them just over a month ago. They have both grown taller, gained a little weight, been given haircuts, and Z lost a tooth.
They have become more accustomed to being hugged and are clearly more comfortable with us. Initially Alyosha would give perfunctory hugs as if to say "I am doing this becuase I am being told to, but I really dont trust you yet." After a few visits he switched to deep, strong hugs as if to say "Please make sure you come back." Now he gives the very comfortable hugs of familiarity.

When I first kissed Zhenya on the check, my scratchy beard made her grimace. Either my beard has grown less scratchy or she has become more comfortable with it. Either way is OK way with me.

With all of these changes in the kids, Tanya pointed out the biggest change: when we first met them they didn't have a family, or even each other for that matter. They might have known they were brother and sister, but they had no relationship. Now, they have parents, grandparents, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, cousins, AND each other. As Grandma Betty likes to say "What a deal, huh?"

The month's schedule

Hi, it's been a week since court! We still have about ten days left until we can pick the kids up. Since the appeal period ends on a Saturday the last day will actually be on Monday and we will pick the kids up on Tuesday the 29th. That day Svetlana, our lawyer, will apply for their birth certificates and passports. We will bring the kids back with us to Pavlodar where we will wait to receive those documents which can take 10-13 business days(approx. 2 weeks) After we get those, we can fly to Almaty and get the kids visas at the US Embassy there. That should just take a few days. Then home!

We continue to visit the kids about every other day. We made a chart that we are using to count down the days with the kids. They get to draw a smiley face in the circle for every day that passes until they get to come to Pavlodar with us! Then we'll make a new chart for our count down to America!!

The kids seem very anxious to get on with things! We hadn't pulled out the photo album in awhile and today we did and Alyosha said "we will get to see the rest of our family soon" I was surprised because sometimes it seemed he wasn't that interested in the pictures, but he could name everyone and is ready to go!!
You know Zhenya is...she thinks everyday is the day for her to leave!

A new name with a beautiful pronounciation.

Group Fun :)

This is Alyohsa's group and teachers. The half with us are the ones that he schools with.(One half in the morning the other in the afternoon)

They are such sweet kids. We were able to come hang out with them and have a small birthday celebration with them for Alyosha. We brought some juice boxes, candies, a toy car for each boy and bracelot for each girl. It was a lot of fun playing and visiting with them, except that we want to bring them all home with us!

We are hoping that the orphanage director, Olga, will let us come teach a little English to the class on our visits in the next few weeks to the kids. Of course we'll ask if Zhenya can join us! Since we are trying to teach A and Z some English anyway we thought it would make it more fun to be with all the kids.

Today our translator, Tanya, and I went shopping for some clothes for A and Z. We wanted to get just a few things to get us through the few weeks we'll have them here, since they are given to us just like newborns with nothing to their names.

We hope everyone is doing well! Pray the rest of our time here goes quickly! Dave and I are missing the rest of the Tribe and friends and A and Z are anxious to get to America!